Listen: The Lone Rangers

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    airheads204.jpgThere are bands that come and go and sadly this happens. We’re happy to see them play, but sad to see them go. For Los Angeles’ own classic and legendary heavy metal band, The Lone Rangers, every day is an adventure. The Lone Rangers first were discovered back in 1994 when Chazz Darby, the band’s lead guitarist and singer tried unsuccessfully to negotiate a contract deal with Palatine Records executive Jimmy Wing. This led to his quenching desire to make it in the rock world without any phony strings attached. Later that evening, following a forced kicking out by his girlfriend Kayla, Chazz and his bandmates, bassist Rex and his drummer brother Pip, attended the Whiskey A Go-Go to watch the Galactic Cowboys’ alter-ego band the Sons Of Thunder. After seeing how lame they appeared in their “pantaloons,” Chazz saw how local radio station Rebel Radio KPPX played their single “Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful” and got the band signed.

    Following this life changing concert, Chazz, Rex and Pip decided to follow the same blazed pathway. They eventually made it inside KPPX’s station and spoke with legendary shock jock Ian The Shark. He interviewed the band and asked about the single, which led to pissing off their station manager, a soft rock loving man named Milo. Needless to say, the band ended up taking the station hostage with Uzi-style water pistols for quite some time.

    On behalf of their single “Degenerated”, Ian The Shark had this to say:

    “Listen up guppies! Ian The Shark here and have I got a surprise for you! I’ve got goosebumps frankly. For the first time, I’m willing to bet, here’s the hit single by…The Lone Rangers!”


    Over the course of the events, the band was able to stir up a media frenzy and eventually reach the attention of a few prominent record executives, most notably Jimmy Wing from Palatine Records. He liked what he heard, even though their demo tape had been eaten by the machine five seconds into the song. After Kayla brought back the tape, Jimmy Wing was able to play the tape to thousands of screaming fans and score the band major success. While they served three months in jail for kidnapping, theft and assault with hot pepper sauce, their album “Live In Prison” went triple platinum on the strength of their timeless single “Degenerated.” Ian eventually became their touring manager after KPPX became The Rain

    If you’re into music with a purpose and have a major avoidance to phony, long-haired buttholes, The Lone Rangers are surely your cup of tea. They don’t pull pud and they treat their fans like gold.

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    Jay Ziegler wanted to let all you readers know, “April fools!”

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