List ‘Em Carefully: The Top 10 Songs of Question

Life is full of questions, many of which we as simple beings are unable to answer. Nobody knows where we go after we kick the bucket, or who created this here earth (if you happen to know, you may post the answer as a comment, thanks), but that won’t stop folks from getting all silly and asking them anyhow. Incidentally, these questions tend to find their way into the world of music quite often. Over the years, our ears have been inundated with silly/meaningful/wtf? questions of all sorts. I’ve picked some of my favorite here. I’ll try to answer some of these questions to the best of my ability, but I have the feeling we won’t be getting anywhere with some of them. Let’s give it a go.

10. “What’s Beef?” – The Notorious B.I.G.

Well this one is easy. The better question is have you ever heard of a dictionary, Chris?  Merriam Webster defines “Beef” as such: the flesh of an adult domestic bovine (as a steer or cow) used as food. Basically it’s what we make hamburgers out of. The song tries to answer this question, but this Biggie guy must be mentally challenged, because none of them are correct. I do not put “when you need two gats to go to sleep” in my hamburgers. Somebody should help this guy out.

9. “Do You Realize??” – The Flaming Lips

This song poses tons of questions; so many that Coyne and Co. decided two question marks were necessary. I have to say, these lyrics really opened up my mind. I never thought of a sunset this way before. Nor did I know that I had the most beautiful face. What a compliment. Thankfully, this song answers most of its own questions and the others can be answered with a simple yes or no. Beautiful song.

8. “Why Don’t We Do It in the Road?” – The Beatles

Hmm. This seems both dangerous as well as illegal. What kind of road is this? Do you enjoy sex in public?  Is it a different “it” than the one I’m thinking of? I just think whatever it is, it won’t end well, what with all the cars whizzing by. I know you guys did some crazy stuff in your lives, but I’d stick to the bedroom with this one.

7. “Can I Kick It?” – A Tribe Called Quest

Well that all depends. A baby? No. A soccer ball? Of course. You see Mr. Tip, some of these questions have multiple or conditional answers. I don’t know exactly what you wish to kick, but I cannot answer this question without some specifics. The song claims, “Yes, you can,” but I am unsatisfied with such an answer.

6. “Where Do the Children Play?” – Cat Stevens

All over, Cat. All over. There are various playgrounds and fun facilities that allow for children to run around and have a ball. I don’t know if they had these things back when this song was written, but I can assure you, they are plentiful now. You should take your children to one sometime. I hear Lazer Tag is fun, put down the Quran for a sec and play some catch.

5. “Life on Mars?” – David Bowie

Come on. Thirty some years ago nobody could answer this, and we still can’t. That Mars rover did find some water though, I think. Water =life, or so I’m told. If the question was “Life on Pluto?” I would be able to tell you that the answer is in fact a blunt, “No” due to the fact that that planet no longer exists. But as to this particular question, let’s wait and see. Luckily, you may live to see this question answered.

4. “What’s Going’ On?”- Marvin Gaye

Well Mr. Gaye, quite frankly, a lot. There’s tons of stuff going on all the time. I think you just need to pay a bit more attention to the world around you. This question is just silly. I mean, I’m sure you can think of some stuff that’s “Going On”. The economic meltdown, today’s election, and the war in Iraq to name a few.

I hope I’ve touched on your question in some way.

3. “Wouldn’t It Be Nice?” – The Beach Boys

The questions in this song are rather confusing. It seems as if the song’s protagonist is a young’n (yeah, I used that word) who is in love with who he is addressing and wishes to be older so that he may marry and be with her. He asks her several variations of the same question:

“Wouldnt it be nice if we were older
Then we wouldnt have to wait so long
And wouldnt it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong ?”

“Wouldnt it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through”

I guess that would be kinda nice Mr. Wilson, if that’s your thing. Some people like to have a childhood (don’t know how old this guy is supposed to be), like to play the field, or just want to live alone forever. I guess it’s a personal preference. Love is a strange and complex thing, but I hope you’ve found this feeling in the years since the song was written.

P.S. This song is one of the best of all time, from arguably the best album ever made.

2. “Who Are You?” – The Who

Remember that time that band with the ambiguous name made a song, which referenced that ambiguous name through a repeated general question?  I don’t know “The Who” who am I? Why don’t you tell me? You know what, why don’t you tell me who you are first, then maybe we’ll be getting somewhere. Until then, I suggest you stop asking such stupid questions. Good song though.

1. “What would you do?” – City High

We all remember that time this song wouldn’t shut up. If you were alive and had a radio during the second year of this millennium, chances are you heard more than enough of this tune. With its annoying catchiness, the song posed a rather difficult question, which easily wins it here, considering it took up the entire chorus and was just crazy. The question is as follows, in case you somehow managed to forget it:

“What would you do?, if your son was at home
crying all alone on the bedroom floor, cuz he’s hungry
and the only way to feed him is ta sleep wit a man
for a little bit of money, and his daddy’s gone
somewhere smokin’ rock now, in and out of lock down,
I aint gotta job now, so for you this is just a good time
but for me this is what I call life”

Wow, I don’t know what I would do in this situation. I am a white, 19 year old, upper-middle class college student, and am quite grateful that I am not forced to make such difficult decisions in my life.  However, if I were to answer this oh-so-trying of a question, I would probably sleep wit a man for a little bit a money, but that’s just me.

Hold Up: Up For Discussion

All of the band Why?‘s music.  I mean the band name is a question, and a very important one at that. Come on.

?uestlove of The Roots…

Though he himself is not a song or a question, his name contains a question mark in it in the place of a letter. To my estimation, I believe he is one of the few people to ever do this. True, P!nk uses that exclamation point in place of her “i”, but screw her. Kudos to him for creating new and unorthodox spellings. Also, check out the ‘fro.

The Unicorns’ Who Will Cut Our Hair When We’re Gone?

This is just a great question. Who will? With all the barbers and hairstylists gone, there will be nobody to clip our long hair. This is an important question asked by an important band.

“You and Whose Army?” by Radiohead, just to somehow incorporate Radiohead into this.

and . . .  I’m out.


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