Bobby Brown is hardly the patron saint of pop music. His 1980’s boy band, New Edition is proof of that. However, no one can attest to their knack of the music video. Their 1987 video for “My Secret” is no exception, featuring various clips of one Magic Johnson taking his professional basketball-playing counterparts to school. Brown and Johnson have one gaudy attribute in common: They each adore chasing tail, and if the flashy stylistic edge Brown flaunts fronting his “band” in this video is any indication, he had little trouble finding a pretty young thing to woo with his gawky dance moves, and video-game-esque beats.
There are so many absurdities laden throughout this 2 minutes, 58 second video, it’s difficult to confidently assert which stand out. As a result, youre going to get an impromptu Play by Play.
From the outset of the video, the boys are dancing in unison and courting outlying young ladies. Brown is the first to find “his girl,” and immediately engages in a half-assed dance off with the waitress, rewarding her distant second with a boutique of flowers that suddenly appear out of nowhere. What’s more, the entire experience is spliced with rudimentary basketball footage that neither include Magic, nor any professional playersThere is one scene showing a young boy “dunking” a basketball just as Bobby finishes off his date with a stellar shimmy as she stands by in awe.
All of the sudden, each member of New Edition has a young lady to whisper sweet nothing’s to, and the song hits its feverish bridge. Each boy and girl dance together, sans rhythm, and lip-sync to an indecipherable chorus that would take weeks to translate into something understandable.
The next thing you know, the clan finds itself privy to accessible public transportation! In L.A! After passing through the turnstiles, they are immediately transported to the Great Western Forum, home of the 1980s-era Los Angeles Lakers. We then get to watch, er, them, er, “watch” Magics Lakers take “show time to absurd levels, though in much of the game footage theyve edited into the video, the Lakers are getting spanked by a visiting team I dont recognize.
Immediately after, we see Byron Scott dunk (the first time the Lakers do something successfully), leading two white guys to high five one another. It’s impossible not to gawk at their matching mullets, flowing in full follicle bloom. The Lakers girls then take us to a brief utopia of sexual decadence, although it’s highly likely the NBA no longer condones this style of dance. Though I was far too young to party in the decade, Ive heard stories about how the standards were slightly more lenient than our post-P.C. present day.
Pat Riley’s first cameo leads me to believe hes never had an acting coach. He looks far too relaxed given in this particular situation. His Lakers are in the middle of a tie game with 12 seconds left on the clock, and it looks as though he may break out laughing at any second.
This is where any sense of reality is breached. Riley looks into the stands and motions for none other than Bobby Brown to go in for Kurt Rambis (or whomever). Magic then flings an alley-oop pass, a move that even the likes of Michael Jordan couldn’t have caught up, and he slams it home. The boys then immediately return to the streets of East L.A., and the video ends.