Oh man, I don’t even know where to begin with this one. There are awesome videos, there are bad videos, and then there’s this video. Unless you lived under a rock around the turn of the century, you’ve heard this song a million times. Even if you haven’t heard it in years, it was so ubiquitous back in those days that surely everyone still remembers it. One thing you may not remember (or at least tried to block from your memory) is the hilariously bad video that accompanied Eiffel 65’s one hit wonder. Let’s take a closer look, shall we?
Things get started with an octo-TV set from the future, wherein we see members of the band singing and dancing and looking especially ridiculous on three separate screens. Then two more screens show ominous signs of what is to come… an alien abduction of the silliest kind.
We then see Eiffel 65 minding their own business and playing their hit song at a concert, when all of the sudden, a beam of light comes down from the sky and snatches the unsuspecting singer out of the air mid-jump. So far it’s not too ridiculous, all things considered, but then we get our first glimpse of these alien beings. It’s hard to describe what these guys look like; you just have to look at it for yourself. They’re very blue, and they’re very badly animated. I know computer graphics have come a long way since then, but surely they could have done better in 1999. But I digress.
The aliens take their prisoner back to their home planet, all the while constantly bobbing their heads and singing along to the music. The alien’s incessant head bobbing makes it nearly impossible to not join in, which in turn makes the whole video even more frustrating. Meanwhile, back on Earth, the other members of Eiffel 65 just happen to have a spaceship handy, so they hop on and give chase. Once they catch up, they decide the best course of action is to make silly faces at the aliens through the window. Surprisingly, this has no effect on them, and they land safely on their planet with their prisoner still frozen in a blue bubble.
Surely devastated that their plan of sticking their tongues out at the aliens didn’t work, the guys decide to take a different route and fight. But they don’t fight like the rest of us mere mortals; they fight with balls of light and dance-punching. As soon as the dude jumps out of the ship and dodges some enemy fire, he shoots the light ball from his hands (not unlike Dragonball Z, but way more stupid). Then a karate master alien shows his skills by high-kicking the air a couple times before he too is laid to waste by this guy’s all powerful light balls. Elsewhere, a huge crowd of swaying blue aliens has gathered to hear the singer sing them the song that was so popular amongst them that they had to travel across the galaxy to kidnap the guy just to hear it in person. I imagine it got so popular because it was so relatable to these aliens. They must have been disappointed to discover the guy singing it wasn’t actually blue like they are (“Aw man, I thought he was talking about us!”).
When they set the singer free of his blue cage, he just continues to sing the song like nothing ever happened. He continues to sing in dance just like he was doing on Earth in front of a painfully obvious chroma key background. After a while, he looks into the crowd and makes some weird surprised faces, but keeps singing anyway. This is when the action back with the other guys starts getting intense. Groups of aliens run towards the dude, but he just dance-punches his way out of it, easily launching each one of them through the air with single rapid fire punches. They both make their way through the alien’s lair by running, punching, and light-balling through them, until one of them finds himself stuck on a roof with another alien who looks like he’s got some skills. He then busts out a new-found weapon, shooting blue lightning from his hands and tossing the guy around. Meanwhile, the other guy is discovering his other talent, extending his arms to bop the aliens on the head with an open palm, which obviously knocks them out with one hit (even though it looks like he doesn’t actually even touch them… once again, great special effects).
After that great melee, they swoop in to save the singer in what is probably the worst display of special effects in the whole video (and that’s saying something). I think I’ve seen better from Super Nintendo games. Either way, they’re instantly safe in their space ship, leaving the blue planet in the dust. They look back to see the entire planet begging them to come back and are filled with smug satisfaction, so they decide to go finish the concert for the aliens — this time with full band in tow. After more ridiculous chroma key work, silly dance moves, and more alien head bobbing, the video ends with the alien taking lead vocals. And in that moment, the song has never rung more true.
In the end, this video is an experience. I hope everyone else appreciates it as much as I did. It touched my soul. It spoke to me of life and love and blue aliens. What will it do for you?
