Break Yo’ TV: Meat Loaf – “I’d Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That)”

I must admit I rather enjoy Bat Out of Hell. How can you not? The title and cover alone provoke the ideas of medieval myths and make the jolly, big guy your dad drinks with, Meat Loaf, look like a certified metal head. However, you would be terribly mistaken, for Bat Out of Hell is more like a series of theatrical show tunes rather than a rock ‘n’ roll album. But it’s still pretty good. So, one day, when Meat Loaf awoke and penned Bat Out of Hell II: Back Into Hell, he knew money was going to rain upon him. Predictably, he was absolutely right, for his album and its first single, “I’d Do Anything for Love” reached the number one position on the charts. This is not necessarily Meat Loaf’s finest hour however, since the video to accompany said song was by far, the most confusing, unpredictable and absurd video of the ’90s (which says a lot as many of those existed).

The video opens with Meat Loaf upon a motorcycle being chased down by local law enforcement. His crime is unknown, but in music videos, plot is generally irrelevant. He cruises around as the song’s cheery piano begins and eventually seeks refuge in his castle. Yes, that’s right, a fucking castle. The cops surround this castle, as Meat Loaf barrels through the cemetery (literally) that is his front yard. Meat Loaf then appears to us for his first close-up in heavenly lighting. He has very strange eyebrows (I don’t think they’re hair), pointy ears, long hair, even longer finger nails (painted black) and dresses in black, monk-like robes. A dark and foreboding castle truly seems like a good place for this guy as he begins explaining he would do anything for love, except “that” (what is “that,” I honestly have never been able to interpret this portion of the message?). When he says “that,” in the song however, he then breaks through a brick wall on a motorcycle. End scene.

It seems deformed Meat Loaf has a stalking problem. He creeps around the even creepier forest surrounding his domain and eventually winds up at a mansion in Beverly Hills where a beautiful girl appears to be admiring herself in a mirror on a fountain. Honestly, this girl seems sort of conceited, but Meat Loaf still insists on gaggling at her from afar. He (It?) eventually catches her eye unintentionally by reflecting the sun off of a talisman which he possesses. The girl turns around, startled that a deformed creature is watching her through the woods and Meat Loaf flees, without said talisman. Meat Loaf runs through the forest, scared of this beautiful woman, as she follows him through the same dark trees back to his castle. Once he is back in his fortress, Meat Loaf decides to sit in a large stone room with candles and sips on some wine. She arrives on the scene moments later causing the chair Meat Loaf is sitting in to miraculously roll away without any pre-conceived motion to cause this event to physically take place.

For two minutes after Meat Loaf’s magic trick, this girl rolls around on a bed within the castle while erotically touching herself. And where is Meat Loaf? Watching from afar and not getting in on the action (why?). This takes place for awhile until the video shows the cops closing in. Eventually, this girl finds her way from the bed to a couch, while Meat Loaf plays a deformed looking piano, and the music causes the couch to float and the girl to sing. She gets down after belting out some bars about love, and finds Meat Loaf within the confines of the castle. They realize their love for each other just in time for the cops to break into the castle. So, what does Meat Loaf do? He and the girl vanish into thin air! The cops look around for a second and shrug it off, while meanwhile Meat Loaf and the girl ride off on a motorcycle into the sunset.

Where did Meat Loaf ride off to that day? Numerous film performances are for sure such as Fight Club and The Mighty, but also to record Bat Out of Hell III: The Monster is Loose. I am unsure as to whether or not this strange-looking version of Meat Loaf appeared in any music videos for B.O.O.H.3, but Meat Loaf overall is a relatively strange dude. This video just showcases how weird he really is, but people still love his music and him. Bob Paulsen, his odd character in Fight Club, may have had bitch tits, no testicles, and the ability to beat the piss out of Tyler Durden, but Meat Loaf has the badass singing voice, the prominent music career, and this bizarre and lame music video. Too weird for mass production, too rare to die; rock on Meat Loaf.


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