This is a story about a lawsuit filed against the Bonnaroo Music Festival. Let us preface it by noting that there is chance it’s nothing more than a well-thought out April Fool’s Joke. But, as you’ll see, the plaintiff in the case has a history of doing this stuff, which makes the likelihood of this story quite possible.
Anyway, here goes it. Bonnaroo is a Tennessee based music festival. This year’s edition, set to take place from June 10-13, features the likes of Jay-Z, Stevie Wonder, Dave Matthews Band, and Kings of Leon.
Dr. Ayman Al-Zawahiri and Jonathan Lee Riches are two dudes who currently list their address as PO Box 14500, Lexington, KY, which just so happens to be the mailing address of federal prison. The former is probably the same Dr. Ayman Al-Zawahiri who is a commander in the terrorist group Al-Qaeda, while the latter has a history of filing rather inane lawsuits (which is why this story is believeable). Per Wikipedia, since January 8, 2006, he has filed over one thousand lawsuits in federal district courts across the country, bringing cases against the likes of New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick, Britney Spears, Apple’s Steve Jobs, and more.
Well, as the Nashville Scene reports, it appears as Riches’ latest target in none other than the summer music festival. On April 1st (which is why this story might be unbelievable), Riches and Al-Zawahiri filed a restraining order against Bonnaroo and its 2010 headliners, claiming that “their music offends us and is in violation of Islamic law.”
The suit reads: “Their music is a civil rights violation to us because they offend Muslims in their lyrics and degrade women. Also defandat’s [sic] promote the sale and distribution of alcohal [sic] to minors as plaintiff’s [sic] themselves are recovering addicts and their concert could trigger us to relapse.” Note how they spelled “alcohal.”
Bonnaroo appears unfazed by the suit, having since opted to announce the lineup for its Cafe Tent (nice segue, eh?). Included among the 40 newly announced acts are Warpaint, The Middle East, Kevin Devine, Frank Turner, Dawes, Morning Teleportation, The Constellations, and Royal Bangs. You can find the full, up-to-date lineup here.
At the very least, this will probably prove to be the most enjoyable thing I’ll write all day.