Advertisement

The Kids in the Hall’s Top 20 Sketches

Laugh -- or I'll crush your head

Advertisement
Advertisement

This feature was originally published in July 2013 and is being re-run for Brain Candy’s 20th anniversary. Still holds up.

That familiar bassline, those black-and-white shots of Toronto’s city streets, the blurry faces of daily locals doing their daily tasks, and then pops up Dave Foley or Bruce McCulloch or Scott Thompson or Kevin McDonald or Mark McKinney — The Kids in the Hall. It was such a simple program with so many far-out ideas, the cultish stepchild to the accessible behemoth that was late ’80s/early ’90s Saturday Night Live.

Yet, despite its close proximity with the NBC dynasty, the Canadian sketch comedy series broke far more ground at the time, relying less on pop culture or topical impersonations and more on social anxieties revolving around subjects like sexuality, gender, faith, the workplace, and family. Sometimes it was flat-out stupid (McKinney’s Chicken Lady), often it was scandalous (Thompson’s Buddy Cole), and every now and then it cracked into the nonsensical (30 Helens).

Most of the time, the five disguised themselves in drag, poking fun at stereotypes and disassembling anyone’s expectations of where they were going and how they’d get there. This was the allure of the Kids, never knowing what they’d tackle next, but always feeling like you’d understand — it was rewarding. They weren’t as hyper-intellectual as, say, Monty Python, but they kept a safe distance ahead of Lorne Michaels’ flagship program by tackling taboos most only leave to pillow talk.

Over the weekend, it was announced the troupe reunited to tape an episode of Spun Out, a new television program starring Foley, with talk of further, unspecified activities. Does this mean another special a la 2010’s Death Comes to Town, or can this be a follow-up to 2008’s nationwide tour? We don’t know yet, but whatever the case, we got super excited … and nostalgic. So, we did what any eager fan would: We put together a list of our favorite sketches. Twenty in all.

Start laughing, or I’ll crush your head.

–Michael Roffman
Editor-in-Chief

__________________________________________________________

20. Stay Down

A trailer park Napoleon complex and a Big Gulp-sipping, overly supportive buddy land Bruce McCulloch’s character in a painful, one-sided bar fight. “Stay down” is good advice, but who wouldn’t be tempted to get up when defending the honor of a woman as fetching as Mark McKinney? Watch this video, “ya frig.” –Matt Melis

__________________________________________________________

19. Becoming a Man

Bruce McCulloch’s inebriated rants capture a special moment of boyhood: watching older male role models get horribly tanked. It’s a rite of passage passed down through the generations and a real lesson in the flaws of masculinity. –Dan Pfleegor

__________________________________________________________

18. Clothes Make the Man

The plot is simple: Scott Thompson leaves his house only to go back in to change clothes, because no matter what he wears, he gets called a “fag” by the same passing bicyclist. He has the last laugh as he unleashes his “grizzly” revenge. No sketch group before The Kids dealt in homosexual topics as much as they did (Thompson, for the uninitiated, is gay). They were trailblazers in that regard and still are the best at it. –Justin Gerber

__________________________________________________________

17. The Beard

Kevin McDonald knew how to take a simple idea to the strangest end, and stroking and calming his beard in this one is just that. What starts out as McDonald growing a vacation beard on a whim ends with the whiskers overpowering him, to tragic results. The bearded McDonald has some fun first, his trademark gangly physicality expressed in some shirtless dancing through the office. While my personal lack of facial hair is largely due to patchy growth, there’s some subconscious fear lingering from this sketch as well. Plus, “No, the beard stays. You go” is near the top of the quotable lines list. –Adam Kivel

__________________________________________________________

16. On the Run

If you’re an escaped convict, you don’t want to be spotted at a diner by Ontario’s finest, McKinney and McColloch. Let’s just say it would be an inconvenience. After this highly civilized high-speed chase, maybe it’s for the best that KITH’s Cops were regulated to standing beside their squad car for the next several seasons. Sleep well, citizens. –Matt Melis

__________________________________________________________

15. Chicken Lady: Strip Club

Of Mark McKinney’s big characters, the Head Crusher may have had a bit more cultural cache (and a ready-made catchphrase), but the Chicken Lady is the one that carries the most weight. Though entirely absurd in appearance and mannerism, her every appearance was centered on a loneliness and a confusion of identity. The Chicken Lady’s trip to the strip club with the Bearded Lady is no exception, and when she finally meets her match in Thompson’s Rooster Boy, the sparks (or feathers) really fly. –Adam Kivel

__________________________________________________________

14. Secretaries – Is the New Guy Gay?

The Kids always played their female roles straight — that is, the joke was never that dudes were wearing dresses. Two of the show’s more endearing recurring female parts were AT&Love secretaries Cathy and Kathy. Here, we see them shirk their secretarial duties in order to probe handsome new guy Howard with questions designed to ID his sexuality. By the way, do you prefer steak or asparagus and pasta salad? No, reason. Just asking. –Matt Melis

__________________________________________________________ 

13. The Affair

What separated Kids from its many contemporaries (and even their predecessors) was their sharp eyes behind the lens. This unique creative perspective expanded their brand to not only encompass onstage routines but also to lean on more cinematic techniques to amplify each sketch’s scenario. “The Affair” is one such example, using fast cuts and cliche directions to their parodic benefit. It helps that the writing’s just as brilliant — hors d’oeuvres, am I right? –Michael Roffman

__________________________________________________________

12. Open Letter to the Guy Who Stole Bruce’s Bike Wheel

Bruce McCulloch always played himself as the most naive Kid, even though he wrote/directed so many of their great sketches. Here’s McCulloch at his most immature, when after his introduction, he takes a beat, looks to the camera, and whines, “Well, why’d you do it?” No stiff upper lip. No clever transition. Just a guy upset at why someone would steal his tire. “Jerk.” (see also: “Open Letter to the People Who Watched the Guy Steal His Bike Wheel“) –Justin Gerber

__________________________________________________________

11. Love and Sausages

While the Kids were never afraid of absurdity, testing the audience’s patience, or delving into serious emotional issues in the midst of their comedy, Love and Sausages is an entirely unique beast. More Eastern European short film than comedy sketch, the story of Bruce McCulloch’s hard-luck sausage factory employee, his lipsticked love interest, and his sausage-loving father (played by a particularly decrepit-looking Scott Thompson) has very few out-and-out laughs in the course of its nearly seven minutes. The scene’s comfortability in pure absurdity and negative space is unsettling, an amazingly bold move for television. While the scene’s intensely idiosyncratic and complete world echoes the shadowy weirdness of Tarkovsky or Lynch, you don’t need to be a film buff to chuckle at Thompson’s geezery repetitions of the word “sausages.” But it helps. –Adam Kivel

__________________________________________________________

10. Into The Doors

Stubborn assholes are Bruce McCulloch’s bread and butter, but this one hit new heights. His hyperbolic assessments and wieldy aggression treat McDonald like a punching bag, as he berates him for wanting to buy the new Depeche Mode or Pixies. It’s such a short skit, and incredibly dated too, but it’s become so synoynmous with The Doors that it’s hard to hear Waiting for the Sun without screaming, “Jim fucking Morrison” in jest. And no, Iggy still hasn’t assumed the role of Lizard King. –Michael Roffman

__________________________________________________________

09. Trapper

The Kids always found corporate culture ripe for the mocking. Here, musical French fur trappers Jacques and Francois, having depleted the beaver population, paddle their canoe through mazes of cubicles and hunt businesspersons for their attire with clubs and bear traps. The anachronistic skit ends with the two docking their canoe at a men’s retailer and trading in Perry Ellis and Armani suits (aka “yesterday’s kill”). Alouette, gentille Alouette. Alouette je te plumerai!  –Matt Melis

__________________________________________________________

08. Sarcastic Guy

Sarcasm has been vilified as a poor man’s wit. It’s a release valve for social awkwardness, but too much prevents a person from connecting with others. Dave Foley’s miserable existence is a curse, but at least he doesn’t have to continue conversations with boring yahoos at parties. –Dan Pfleegor

__________________________________________________________

07. Things To Do

Kevin McDonald’s real-life obsession with to-do lists sets the foundation for an absurd sketch that finds him stuck in the middle of a Point Break-style bank heist. He’s a man on a mission and won’t let petty things like being taken hostage slow him down. Bonus: two shots of the same old woman falling down. –Dan Pfleegor

__________________________________________________________

06. Buddy Is Canadian

Everything I know about gays and Canadians I learned from Buddy Cole. (That’s not gonna backfire on me at some point, will it?) In this infamous monologue, Scott Thompson’s limp-wristed, lisping bar owner has a message for all of us: Think it’s hard being gay? Try being Canadian. –Matt Melis

__________________________________________________________

05. Taxpayer

“Wow. What a bad sketch.” The Kids at their most insane and intelligent. Man arrives at house of blind date, only to find out she died years earlier. Asian stereotypes follow, used condoms and ashes are handed out, and Kevin McDonald is a giant baby. All of this happens so Mark McKinney can break the fourth wall and tell the audience how much of the taxpayers’ money was wasted on the sketch. Genius. Yes, genius. –Justin Gerber

__________________________________________________________

04. Girl Drink Drunk

Dave Foley’s steady descent into a girl drink drunk is a harrowing tale about the danger of imbibing 700-calorie adult refreshments. Honestly, who hasn’t hit up the local Applebees to indulge in two-for-one chocotinis? It’s not a proud moment. But don’t forget, any cocktail that can support several of those mini umbrellas is a clear cry for help. –Dan Pfleegor

__________________________________________________________

03. Womyn

Ladies, ever wonder what your fella and his buddies talk about when they get together to play cards each week? Well, the Kids — in one of their classic “five guys sitting around” sketches — finally come clean about poker night. Fair warning: Dave Foley was on his period during the filming of this sketch. –Matt Melis

__________________________________________________________

02. The Daves I Know

The premise is too simple to be funny, right? Bruce is going to sing a song about all the people he knows named Dave (Foley included). But couple the all-Dave roll call with a funny walk and a tucked-in picnic-blanket flannel shirt, and you have a feel-good hit of the summer — or at least a song to annoy your own Daves with. “These are the Daves I know, I know…” –Matt Melis

__________________________________________________________

01. Citizen Kane

If McCulloch’s the asshole, Foley’s the everyguy, McKinney’s the creep, and Thompson’s the eccentric, then that leaves all the anxiety for McDonald. One of KITH’s strengths was their ability to stretch the joke from point A to AA without losing any of its elasticity. Watch how long McDonald contains his frustration, and then appreciate the payoff. To quote Buddy Cole, “I figured that would keep me going for about a month.” This one never gets old. –Michael Roffman

Advertisement