It’s been an especially rough week here in America as we try to make sense of the violent scene that unfolded in Charlottesville over the weekend and Donald Trump’s subsequent backing of white supremacists and Nazis. Fortunately, Tina Fey has come up with a pretty ingenious way to cope.
The former SNL cast member returned to 30 Rock on Thursday night for an appearance on a special primetime summer edition of Weekend Update. And she came bearing some sage of advice: “Instead of participating in the screaming matches and potential violence, find a local business you support, maybe a Jewish-run bakery, or… an African American bakery. Order a cake with the American flag on it, and just eat it,” Fey remarked.
That way, she explained, “the next time you see a bunch of white boys in polo shirts screaming about taking our country back and you want to scream, ‘It’s not our country, we stole it. We stole from the Native Americans.’ And when [Native Americans] have a peaceful protest at Standing Rock we shoot at them with rubber bullets, we let you chinless turds march the streets with semi-automatic weapons. And while you want to yell that, don’t yell it at the clan, yell it into the cake.”
“And then when Ann Coulter crawls out of her roach motel and says, ‘Well antifa attacked Republicans in Berkeley,’ and you’re like, ‘Ok, yard sale Barbie. But the other side is Nazis and clansmen, and also who drove the car into the crowd? Hillary’s emails?'”
“Sheet-caking is a grass-roots movement,” Fey noted between bites. “Most of the women I know have been doing it once a week since the election.”
“In conclusion, I really want to encourage all good, sane Americans to treat these rallies this weekend like the opening of a thoughtful movie with two female leads: Don’t show up. Let these morons scream into the empty air.”