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The Top 100 South Park Songs

Twenty years of unforgettable musical moments from our favorite redneck mountain town

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Music has always been an integral part of South Park: PrimusLes Claypool sang the theme song; Rick Rubin produced the Chef Aid record; and co-creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone have managed to rile up Kanye West and countless other musicians, actors, and celebrities with cool island songs to melt their icy hearts … or was it warm tropical songs … never mind.

Since our favorite foulmouthed fourth graders are returning to Comedy Central for their 21st season this week, we dug deep into the South Park archives to handpick our definitive 100 songs in the show’s storied musical history. We’ve included music from South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, but not Chef Aid or Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics cuts that didn’t appear, at least in part, on screen. We also ruled out songs by other artists that merely soundtracked the boys’ adventures. Otherwise, we took a walk down memory lane, way back to the early seasons when the boys were still third graders and ended at Season 20, which, believe it or not, gave us a top 10 inclusion.

You know, we learned something today: Whether you only swear by the older episodes or you still avidly watch the new ones, there have been so many priceless musical moments in South Park’s history. Enjoy reliving some of these classic songs and scenes.

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100. “Stinky Britches”

From “Chef Aid”

This song appears in some form in five different episodes but was first heard in “Chef Aid”, when Alanis Morissette stole the song from Chef. You bastard! –Killian Young

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99. “Little Bunny Foo Foo”

From “Something You Can Do with Your Finger”

Butters’ audition song to join Fingerbang. They’ll let him know. –Killian Young

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98. “You and Cthulhu”

From “Mysterion Rises”

The Coon (aka Cartman) makes a new friend in the massive demon Cthulhu, who is naturally unleashed by BP’s unsafe, offshore drilling. Naturally. –Killian Young

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97. “Loving the Football”

From “Big Gay Al’s Big Gay Boat Ride”

If you follow Chef’s advice, you’ll never fumble again. You’ll also probably end up on a sex-offender list. –Matt Melis

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96. “Who’s Got the Greatest Mom in the World?”

From “Tsst”

Cartman can avoid punishment like Tom Sawyer could avoid work; here, he butters up Mrs. Cartman with a melodious little ditty that they’ve clearly sung countless times before. Nice harmonies. –Matt Melis

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95. “Hippitus Hoppitus”

From “Fantastic Easter Special”

The Hare Club for Men (brilliant) mash up the Latin Mass and “Here Comes Peter Cottontail” as they go to life-threatening lengths to preserve the long-eared secret of the Catholic Church’s origins. If only being a Catholic was actually like this. –Matt Melis

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94. “Imagination Song”

From “Imaginationland Episode 1”

Matt or Trey clearly visited Disney’s Epcot Center as kids, suffered through that lame “Imagination” ride with the purple dragon, and decided to get back at the world by torturing us with their grating take on that attraction’s theme song … for three consecutive episodes. Imagination … ImagINation … IMAgin… A very grating gag. –Matt Melis

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93. “If You Leave Me Now”

From “Casa Bonita”

Do you think Chicago (the band) gets a few bucks each time Butters busts out his favorite adult contemporary rock hit of ’76? –Matt Melis

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92. “German Dance”

From “Chef Aid”

By our calculations, Cartman would have had to do the German Dance from this episode’s original air date nonstop through 2047 in order to raise the money needed to hire Johnnie Cochran and counter-sue the record company. And that’s not even taking into account sauerkraut expenses. Dance, German boy, dance! –Matt Melis

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91. “Crips and Bloods”

From “Krazy Kripples”

Bill Cosby’s gonna sue somebody’s ass! –Matt Melis

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90. “Carry on Wayward Son”

From “Guitar Queer-O”

Randy learns the hard way that playing real guitar just isn’t as cool as being a master of Guitar Hero. –Killian Young

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89. “Dawg’s Crew Theme”

From “Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy”

When Cartman becomes the Hall Monitor of South Park Elementary, he is the dawg. The big, bad dawg. –Killing Young

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88. “Canada on Strike”

From “Canada on Strike”

The world economy grinds to a halt as our neighbors to the north declare they’re going on strike — with fully rehearsed choreography no less, buddy. –Matt Melis
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87. “Cheesy Poofs”

From “Roger Eberts Should Lay Off the Fatty Foods”

How lame are you if you don’t love Cheesy Poofs? Apparently, we’re “talkin’ Night Court in its fifth season lame.” –Matt Melis

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86. “Jared’s Theme”

From “Jared Has Aides”

Too soon? –Matt Melis

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85. “Living in America”

From “Let Go, Let Gov”

I’ve yet to make it through a trip to the DMV without at least one person breaking out into James Brown. That’s why I always bring a cape. –Matt Melis

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84. “Hey People, You Gotta Drive Hybrids Already”

From “Smug Alert!”

We included this song on our list because we like to be part of the solution and not the problem. What … good for us? Thaaaanks! –Matt Melis

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83. “Why Can’t I Be Like All the Other Kids?”

From “Here Comes the Neighborhood”

Basically, Token’s version of “A Lonely Jew Christmas on Christmas”. And that’s okay because #TokensLifeMatters –Matt Melis

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82. “My Best Friends”

From “Spookyfish”

Ever notice that the goateed “Evil” Cartman is a lot nicer than “Good” Cartman? Stan, Kyle, and Kenny sure do. –Matt Melis

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81. “Buffalo Soldier”

From “Medicinal Fried Chicken”

It’s impossible to unsee Randy Marsh pushing his massive, cancerous testicles around in a wheelbarrow as he (poorly) sings this Bob Marley classic. –Killian Young

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80. “Follow the Only Road”

From “It’s Christmas in Canada”

Apparently, all Polish jokes become Canadian jokes in the South Park universe. Still, “watch out for Scott. He’s a dick!” –Matt Melis

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79. “I’ve Got Some Apples”

From “Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset”

Sing this while shopping for fruit or peeing at a urinal, and life will seem a little less tedious: “Loo Loo, I got some apples…” –Matt Melis
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78. “Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset”

From “Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset”

“Comes with video camera, night-vision filter, fake money, losable cell phone, and 16 hits of ecstasy! Let everyone see your coo-oo-ooch!” –Killian Young
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77. “The Twelve Days of Christmas”

From “Red Sleigh Down”

Need a stall tactic to make it home in time for Christmas presents — or just a running gag? Either way, you could do far worse than have handicapable Jimmy Valmer sing the longest song in the Christmas carol ca-ca-ca ca-ca-ca ca-annon. –Matt Melis

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76. “Wild Wild West Rap”

From “Cat Orgy”

It’s safe to say that Jim “Cartman” West and Artemis Clyde Frog’s 3-Dubya rap may be the only redeeming pop-culture moment to come from Will Smith’s late ’90s foray into being a cowboy. #MildMildWest –Matt Melis

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75. “Got to Buy Chinpokomon”

From “Chinpokomon”

A portmanteau of the Japanese word for penis and Pokemon, “Chinpokomon” parodied the Japanese craze for its crass commercialism. “I’ve got to buy it! I’ve got to buy it!” –Killian Young

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74. “Shitty Shitty Fag Fag”

From “It Hits the Fan”

When the residents of South Park become free to say the word “shit,” all hell breaks loose. Mr. Garrison sings this tune to his kindergarten students, contributing nine times that the cuss word is said out of a total of 162 times in the episode. –Killian Young

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73. “Pokerface”

From “Whale Whores”

Sometimes, an artist covers a song and just makes it his or her own. This is not one of those times. –Matt Melis

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72. “Heat of the Moment”

From “Kenny Dies”

Our senators and representatives could learn a thing or two about productivity by joining together for a rousing rendition of Asia’s “Heat of the Moment”, like the one led by Cartman and Congress in South Park. –Killian Young

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71. “Wake Up Wendy”

From “Chef Aid”

Stan finds his inner Bernie Taupin, Elton John plays Stan’s song at Chef Aid to impress Wendy, and Johnny Cochran’s heart grows three sizes in the process. Chewbacca defense? –Matt Melis

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70. “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”

From “Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics”

Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo reminds us of the true meaning of Christmas: having enough fiber in your diet. –Matt Melis

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69. “Work Mexican Work”

From “The Last of the Meheecans”

Mantequilla (literally Spanish for “butter”) learns the toil of Mexican laborers. –Killian Young

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68. “The Yelper Special”

From “You’re Not Yelping”

Would it really kill you to show the restaurant employees in your lives a little decency? –Matt Melis

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67. “Carol of the Bells”

From “Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics”

Ever see Beaker, the Swedish Chef, and Animal sing this holiday carol? Same concept, mmm’kay. –Matt Melis

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66. “The Circle of Poo”

From “A Very Crappy Christmas”

Mr. Hankey teaches his “nugget” son Cornwallis (his vocals are sung by R&B artist Louis Price) that “crap is everything” in this fantastic take on the Lion King classic “The Circle of Life”. –Killian Young

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65. “Work Slut”

From “The Hobbit”

It’s a Britney (parody), bitch. The girls of South Park work out to perfect their Photoshop skills. –Killian Young

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64. “I Swear”

From “Cartman Finds Love”

You’ll never guess who ends up on the Kiss-Cam together at the basketball game. –Matt Melis

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63. “Bleeding Heart Protest Song vs. Pro War Country Song”

From “I’m a Little Bit Country”

It’s a battle of liberal and conservative views on the War in Iraq between Randy and Skeeter. –Killian Young

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62. “It’s Butters”

From “Butters’ Very Own Episode”

We’re glad that Butters — the most innocent and gullible boy in South Park — got his very own theme song for his show wrought with terrible family drama. “That’s me!” –Killian Young

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61. “Sexual Harassment Panda”

From “Sexual Harassment Panda”

“When one little panda puts his furry, little willy in another little panda’s ear, that makes me a very sad panda.” And there’s nothing sadder than a sad panda, boys and girls. –Matt Melis

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60. “Lake Tardicaca Hula Girl”

From “Crippled Summer”

Okay, first, let’s all agree we’re going to hell just for listening. That being said, yeah, we want the ukulele solo! –Matt Melis

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59. “Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel”

From “Mr. Hankey, The Christmas Poo”

Cartman naturally butts into Kyle’s rendition of this Hanukkah song to make fun of him for being Jewish. –Killian Young

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58. “Joseph Smith Was Called a Prophet”

From “All About Mormons”

Before The Book of Mormon, there was “All About Mormons”, South Park’s brilliant parody of Mormonism, which actually correctly depicts the major concepts behind the infamous religion. Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb. –Killian Young

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57. “My Robot Friend”

From “AWESOM-O”

Cartman — disguised as the robot A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000 to find out Butters’ embarrassing secrets — finds the tables turned on him when he learns that Butters has an incriminating video of him. –Killian Young

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56. “PC Chant”

From “Stunning and Brave”

Is there any good reason social justice warriors haven’t officially adopted this chant yet? If not, I call woo-woo on them. –Matt Melis

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55. “Out of My Shell”

From “Broadway Bro Down”

Larry “The Vegan” Feegan might need a larger shirt and smaller life preserver, but you can’t deny his song for Shelly is incredibly sweet. And shout-out to the non-animated person at the end of the video for posting this. –Matt Melis

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54. “Ballad of James Cameron”

From “Raising the Bar”

“You guys hearing the song OK up there?” –Killian Young
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53. “Christmas Medley”

From “Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics”

Jesus and Santa sing Christmas classics about themselves, with composer Marc Shaiman (he did the music for the film version of Hairspray) on the piano. –Killian Young

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52. “Fight-in’ Round the World!”

From “The New Terrance and Phillip Trailer”

Making movies, making music, and fight-in’ round the world! –Matt Melis

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51. “A Chorus of Wieners”

From “A Song of Ass and Fire”

South Park took a shot at George R.R. Martin’s graphic descriptions of penises in Game of Thrones; Martin hilariously responded, “I have to deny this as a scurrilous rumor. I have nothing against weenies, weenies are fine, but I am not obsessed with weenies. I am definitely on the boobies side of the equation.” –Killian Young

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50. “You Gotta Do What You Wanna Do!”

From “Elementary School Musical”

Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny simultaneously succumb to and end the High School Musical trend at South Park Elementary School. –Matt Melis

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49. “I Was Not the Bullet”

From “World War Zimmerman”

Set to Butters’ furious beatboxing, Cartman somehow manages to blame Token for his struggles after Trayvon Martin’s death. –Killian Young

I’m not sure what’s shittier, Cartman’s flow or the quality of the only video of the song we could find on YouTube. –Matt Melis

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48. “Waitin’ on a Woman”

From “Cartman’s Mom Is a Dirty Slut”

And you wait and you wait and you wait and you wait… –Matt Melis

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47. “I Hate You Guys”

From “Jakovasaurs”

A rousing campfire song never goes out of style. –Matt Melis

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46. “Mountain Town” & “Mountain Town (Reprise)”

From South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

A primer to South Park’s main cast and world, the opening song of Bigger, Longer & Uncut also gave fans their first look at Kenny without his signature orange parka. –Killian Young

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45. “Somalian Pirates We”

From “Fatbeard”

“We’ll brave the squalls and bust your balls, Somalian Pirates we.” It puts that yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum song to shame. –Matt Melis

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44. “Jackin’ It in San Diego”

From “Butterballs”

Just like Jason Russell (the director of Kony 2012), Stan ends up naked and jackin’ it in San Diego after his anti-bullying video fails to have any lasting social impact. –Killian Young

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43. “Taco Flavored Kisses” / “Taco Flavored Kisses for Ben”

From “Fat Butt and Pancake Head”

The “other” J-Lo scores a big hit with this culturally sensitive pop gem and simultaneously woos Ben Affleck. “Haha. That’s me!” –Matt Melis

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42. “The Ballad of Tweek and Craig”

From “Tweek x Craig”

Sometimes life gets complicated and we lose sight of what truly matters. At times like that, it’s valuable to look back upon the burning love of Tweek and Craig, who were deemed gay by the Japanese … because being gay isn’t a choice. –Matt Melis

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41. “Getting Gay with Kids”

From “Rainforest Shmainforest”

The kids travel to South America to spread awareness about endangered rain forests, and Kyle copes with the fact that Jews apparently have no rhythm. –Matt Melis

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40. “I’ve Got Something in My Front Pocket”

From “You Got F’d in the A”

Butters tap dances his way into our hearts with this old-timey number that urges us to reach into his pocket and find a surprise. That’s not wrong at all. –Matt Melis

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39. “The Prostitute Song”

From “Fat Camp”

I always wondered what Chef and James Taylor would’ve taught us if they were given a second verse… –Matt Melis

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38. “Up There”

From South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Proof that even Satan gets the blues — and can hit a high note. Take that, Richard Stamos. –Matt Melis

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37. “Trapped in the Closet”

From “Trapped in the Closet”

After becoming entangled in Scientology, Stan finds that Tom Cruise has locked himself in his closet and won’t come out. R. Kelly suddenly appears on the scene and tries to mediate the situation by singing and “PULLING OUT MY GUN.” –Killian Young

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36. “The Ballad of Lemmiwinks”

From “The Death of Camp Tolerance”

A journey just as epic as Bilbo Baggins’ in the 1977 animated version of The Hobbit (which the song draws inspiration from), the embattled class gerbil Lemmiwinks must escape Mr. Slave’s digestive system. He’s aided along the way by the Frog King, Sparrow Prince, and Catatafish. –Killian Young

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35. “I’m Gonna Make Love to You Woman”

From “Cartman Gets an Anal Probe”

…And bring you Salisbury steak and buttered noodles in bed the next morning. Oh, Chef. –Matt Melis

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34. “Push (Feeling Good on a Wednesday)”

From “The Cissy”

All middle-aged men reach a point where they recognize their mortality, take stock in their lives, and, usually after an embarrassing “crisis,” learn to accept themselves and look ahead to the next phase in life. However, most of those middle-aged men aren’t Lorde, ya, ya, ya. –Matt Melis

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33. “Where Has My Country Gone?”

From “Where My Country Gone”

Leave it to Mr. Garrison to write the official theme song for the white supremacist movement. –Matt Melis

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32. “Princess Kenny Theme”

From “A Song of Ass and Fire”

Just when you thought South Park couldn’t possibly find a new way to shock us, we learn that Kenny is actually a Japanese princess. Eh, actually, I kinda saw this one coming. –Matt Melis

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31. “Fishsticks”

From “Gay Fish”

As recently as at his headlining performance at Made in America, Kanye West has called out South Park for making fun of him. Of course, South Park famously joked that ‘Ye would be the only person in America to fail to get Jimmy’s joke (“Do you like putting fish sticks in your mouth? What are you, a gay fish?”). Kanye responded on “Gorgeous” (off My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy): “Choke a South Park writer with a fish stick.” –Killian Young

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30. “Mr. Hankey, The Christmas Poo”

From “Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics”

Howdy ho! Mr. Hankey is the perfect non-denominational holiday mascot: “Sit on the toilet, here he comes/ Squeeze him between your festive buns.” –Killian Young

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29. “Wendy’s Audition Song”

From “Something You Can Do with Your Finger”

The boys want a fifth member to legitimize their boy band, Fingerbang. After disastrous auditions by Ike and Butters, Wendy dazzles everyone (except Cartman) with this innuendo-filled song and becomes a member of the group. –Killian Young

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28. “O Holy Night”

From “Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics”

Eric Cartman reminds us all of the true meaning of Christmas. –Matt Melis

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27. “I’m Super”

From South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Big Gay Al’s dazzling performance distracts the troops so the boys can rescue Terrance and Phillip. We believe it goes a little something like this… –Killian Young

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26. “Make Bullying Kill Itself”

From “Butterballs”

It’s time to give bullying a taste of its own cruel medicine — not sure why Butters is naked in a glass cube and Cartman is dressed like a pop princess and singing about his va-jay-jay, though. –Matt Melis

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25. “Minorities at My Water Park”

From “Pee”

Cartman laments minorities taking over the last bastion of white America: his local water park. –Matt Melis

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24. “La Resistance”

From South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Les Misérables wishes it had a medley this stirring. The song that proved once and for all that Trey and Matt have musical chops to be reckoned with. –Ben Kaye 

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23. “Simultaneous”

From “Summer Sucks”

Too many chefs may spoil the broth, but we’re not talking about multiple chefs or even broth for that matter. We’re talking about Chef and you … “and your momma and your sister” making sweet love … at the same time. Hey, it’s a natural thing to do. –Matt Melis

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22. “Make It Right”

From “The Death of Eric Cartman”

It takes Cartman thinking he’s died before he shows any remorse for the countless sadistic shenanigans he’s pulled throughout South Park’s history. In this peppy montage, he promises, “I’m paying for my sins, and it sure feels great.” His reparations? Fruit baskets delivered to the likes of Scott Tenorman and preschool teacher Miss Claridge. Yep, that should cover it. –Killian Young

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21. “Christmas Time in Hell”

From “Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics”

South Park has spent two decades convincing us that most of us should probably be going to hell anyway, so it’s good to know that there’s plenty of yuletide spirit waiting down there for us along with Satan, Hitler, and Andy Dick. –Matt Melis

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20. “Vote or Die!”

From “Douche and Turd”

Puffy Daddy was really on to something. If the threat of physical violence doesn’t get you to exercise your rights as a United States citizen, nothing will. –Ben Kaye

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19. “Montage”

From “Asspen”

“Well, if you gotta get good at something really fast, there’s only one way to do it.” This meta song — a montage that explains a montage — is now what you’ll hear in your head during every big picture training scene ever. Heck, even Rocky had a montage. –Ben Kaye

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18. “Uncle Fucka”

From South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

The opening song in Terrance & Phillip: Asses of Fire (as seen in South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut) takes the boys’ cursing game to a whole other level. Also see: the rap remix. –Killian Young

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17. “I’ve Got a Ring on My Finger”

From “The Ring”

Disney marketing sex to children? No way, ba-ba-bay-bay. –Matt Melis

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16. “Put That Heart to Work”

From “Broadway Bro Down”

Randy discovers the quickest way to a woman’s heart: Broadway. “I respect you, bro.” –Killian Young

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15. “It’s Easy, Mmm’kay”

From South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

In which it’s discovered that every time Mr. Mackey says “mmm’kay,” he’s substituting for the word “fuck.” –Killian Young

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14. “Merry Fucking Christmas”

From “Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics”

Mr. (not Ms.) Garrison teaches his class about how Christmas gets celebrated around the world. Multiculturalism this is not. –Matt Melis
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13. “Jesus Baby”

From “Christian Rock Hard”

Cartman expresses his special “love” for Jesus as he, Butters, and Token start a Christian rock band called Faith + 1 in order to get a platinum-selling record before Kyle, Stan, and Kenny. Yes, someone’s going to hell, and it’s probably not Lars Ulrich. Praise Christ, praise Jesus! –Matt Melis

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12. “No Substitute”

From “Weight Gain 4000”

Mayor McDaniels can’t hold Chef back from singing about making sweet love to Kathie Lee Gifford. –Killian Young

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11. “South Park Theme”

From All Seasons

South Park’s theme song (sung by Les Claypool of Primus) has been revamped over the years — particularly, Kenny’s muffled, perverse mumblings — and summoned millions to the television like bells used to call kids to dinner. –Killian Young

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10. “What Would Brian Boitano Do?”

From South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

South Park’s ability to take the absurd and make it seem like pure genius is on full display here. A throwaway line from Matt and Trey’s very first short is transformed into a motivational song that turns an ’80s Olympic hero into a true superbeing. How good is it? The real Brian Boitano borrowed the song and title for his cooking show, What Would Brian Boitano Make? –Ben Kaye

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09. “Timmy and the Lords of the Underworld”

From “Timmy 2000”

The far-reaching power of South Park’s music even reached the super popular Rock Band series, which featured this track so you can take over Timmy’s lead vocals. –Killian Young

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08. “In My Safe Space”

From “Safe Space”

What do Eric Cartman, Steven Seagal, Demi Lovato, Vin Diesel, and Randy Marsh all have in common? Their safe spaces, of course, courtesy of Butters Stotch and poor, starving kids with iPads in the developing world. Because why should any American ever have to feel shame … when Butters can just delete those comments from social media? #completelyshameless –Matt Melis

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07. “My Bitch Ain’t No Hobbit”

From “The Hobbit”

Trey and Matt showed they weren’t deterred by Kanye calling them out in “Gorgeous”. The South Park creators came back with this fantastic “Bound 2” parody — complete with majestic western vistas and horses running. Of course, the highlight of the track is ‘Ye confidently asserting that Kim K. is definitely not a Hobbit. –Killian Young

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06. “A Lonely Jew on Christmas”

From “Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo”

Kyle has a bad case of Jesus envy come Christmastime. Apparently, you can only spin so many dreidels, light so many candles, and eat so many kosher latkes before seeing an Xbox from a fat man in red waiting for you under a pine tree starts looking pretty good. –Matt Melis

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05. “Fingerbang”

From “Something You Can Do with Your Finger”

Who can forget the glory days of boy bands in the late ’90s and early ’00s? The boys did their best take on the Backstreet Boys and N’SYNC (with Cartman donning a mustache and goatee) on their delightfully unsubtle debut single. –Killian Young

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04. “Blame Canada”

From South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Fed up with the flatulence and toilet humor that Canadian comedy duo Terrance and Phillip subject American children to, Sheila Broflovski (aka Kyle’s Mom) mobilizes the town and country to full-scale war against our neighbors to the north. If you think that’s not a sufficient enough reason to go to war, let’s not forget that Canada bombed the Baldwins and unleashed Bryan Adams on the world. Where do I enlist? –Matt Melis

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03. “Chef’s Chocolate Salty Balls”

From “Chef’s Chocolate Salty Balls”

Chef has never been the most subtle lyricist. So, how were we to know when he invited all of us to “suck on [his] chocolate salty balls” that he was actually just peddling the greatest taste sensation since the deep-fried Twinkie? Even then, we giggled along with Kenny when Cartman raved, “I love your chocolate salty balls, Chef!” –Matt Melis

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02. “Let’s Fighting Love”

From “Good Times with Weapons”

If you’re a fan of anime, you know all the lyrics to every Japanese theme song there is, but odds are you don’t have a clue what they mean. For all you know, you could be singing, “There is hair on my balls/ Is that the sound of a baby monkey?” And you’d do it gleefully, because in the end, “The important thing is to protect my balls.” –Ben Kaye

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01. “Kyle’s Mom’s a Bitch”

From South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

You’ve got to hand it to Cartman. He may be psychopathic, misogynistic, and antisemitic, but he sure can carry a melody. And this stunning tribute to Mrs. Broflovski (in D minor no less) is his catchiest tune ever — so much so that he has kids all over the world singing along in “It’s a Small World” fashion. You know who I really feel bad for, though? All the Kyles out there over the years who had friends who watched South Park. You think they heard this sung once or twice or thirty times? –Matt Melis

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