James Woods isn’t actually retiring, wants to star in a movie about the Westboro Baptist Church

"No actor retires from the film business," says Woods, who chalks the whole thing up to an accident

James Woods is not retiring, despite what recent real estate listings might have you believe. The Videodrome actor is best known these days for being a conservative asshole on Twitter and suing people for calling him a “cokehead,” but everyone seemed to remember his filmic bonafides this weekend when he “accidentally” announced his retirement from the entertainment industry.

A piece in Friday’s Providence Journal reads, “Longtime Rhode Island resident and Warwick Pilgrim High School graduate James Woods, Veteran of nearly 150 movies and television shows, has announced today that his recent retirement from the entertainment field has prompted him to simplify his life.” It went on to note he “hopes to spend more time on passions including photography, antiquing and Texas hold ’em poker.”

This was, however, what his ilk like to call “fake news,” as he told the Washington Post, “My career is not going to end in a real estate announcement.” Woods claimed he “was not paying attention” when his real estate agent read the listing back to him over the phone. “I somehow didn’t hear ‘retirement.'” Oops.

“No actor retires from the film business,” he continued. “In my 30s, I could play a sharp young lawyer. In my 40s, I could play an accomplished family man under attack.”

Lately, the actor’s appeared on the likes of Ray Donovan and Dice, though the Post reports that he has his sights set on playing a gay man in a movie about the homophobic Westboro Baptist Church. The movie is still seeking financing, and here’s hoping it never finds it. Nobody needs a movie about the Westboro Baptist Church starring James Woods.


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