When it comes to his infamous interviews, Nardwuar the Human Serviette is usually the bigger personality in the discussion. However, it was only a matter of time before he came face to face with hip-hop’s newest queen of character, Cardi B. The pair got together for a chat at this weekend’s Coachella, and though a pregnant Cardi was perhaps more subdued than usual, the interview was still as silly and strange as you’d expect from the pair.
Nardwuar opened with some throwbacks to Cardi’s personal life, including the children’s book series Junie B. Jones and the rapper’s love of US history (turns out she shares a birthday with Eleanor Roosevelt). Of course, he had to touch on the rapper’s stripping past, handing her a book on the history of Vancouver’s Penthouse Nightclub and no fewer than three vinyl records of stripper music. “Where am I gonna play it?” Cardi joked. “Well, how you know I can afford [a turntable]?”
Later, Cardi was able to rap a few bars of Trina, but Nardwuar stumped her with Hoes With Attitude (HWA) and Bitches With Problems (BWP) for some hip-hop history. She also delivered a few lines of Al B. Sure’s “Nite & Day”, which she apparently hopes to play at her wedding to Offset. Elsewhere, she talked about yogurt, getting milk and cookies after her butt injections, and told haters to “suck my dick. And I know you think because I’m a woman I don’t have a dick, but I have a pink dildo in my dresser.”
Toward the end of the interview Nardwuar asked why people should care about Cardi B, to which she replied sweetly, “You don’t have to care for me, you know what I’m saying? Because I don’t give you no money, I don’t help you out. I don’t do anything for you. I just make you laugh and entertain you. And if that’s good enough for me, then you should care. If I don’t entertain you, then you shouldn’t care, and you should move on with your life.”
She also gave a Cardi B twist to the famous “doot doola doot doo” outro, as you can hear in the 10-minute interview below.