2020 has been another massive year for beloved K-pop band BTS, what with their first-ever music Grammy nomination and history-making single “Dynamite”. But as any celebrity will attest, global domination can take a major mental and physical toll on you. That’s where BTS member Jin currently finds himself.
Ahead of his 28th birthday, the Bangtan Boy has released a new solo single titled “Abyss”, inspired by his recent reflections on worldwide fame and the group’s loyal #BTSARMY. Jin explained on the BTS blog, writing,
“Recently, in a press conference, I said: I don’t like to share my sad feelings with the fans. This is because I only want to show them the good things. However, I feel differently if it’s through music. I don’t like to share it through my everyday actions, but I think it would be okay to show them through music.”
“To tell you the truth, I was severely burnt out recently, and I think it was because I had many thoughts regarding myself.”
Some of these thoughts involved quite a lot of doubt, specifically whether he was deserving of all of this happiness and success. “I ranked #1 in the Billboard Hot 100 and received congratulations from many people. Can I receive this?” Jin continued. “In fact, there are a lot of people who love music more and do better than me, but is it okay for me to receive this joy and celebration?”
Stream “Abyss” below, which was co-written by Jin and fellow BTS member RM, among others. Find Jin’s full blog post ahead as translated by Bandwagon.
Jin officially turns 28 years old tomorrow, December 4th. Thanks to a new law, BTS won’t have to fulfill their compulsory military service in South Korea until they’re 30.
Hello, this is Jin.
Not long ago, during a press conference, I said this
“I don’t want to share my sad feelings with my fans. Because I want to show only good things.
But if it’s music, the story is different. I usually don’t want to share it with my actions, but I think it would be okay to show it as music.”
In fact, there was a big burnout recently, but I think it was because I had a lot of thoughts about myself.
I ranked #1 in the Billboard Hot 100 and received congratulations from many people. Can I receive this?
In fact, there are a lot of people who love music more and do better than me, but is it okay for me to receive this joy and celebration?
As I went deeper, it felt like I wanted to put it all down because it was hard.
After receiving counseling about this, I talked to Bang Pidi-nim, and he said, “Would you like to write this feeling in a song?”
What if I don’t have confidence to make it well and the result is not good, I have already come to a position where it should not be done.
That doesn’t matter to Bang Pidi. But if you do, you will surely do well, and he said he will find the right person for you.
That’s how I met the composer, Gye Beom-juhyeong, and now I talked about my feelings and many things.
He was a bright and positive person. My brother said he wanted to help me, and he brightened me up again with the positive power of saying, ‘Let’s write about a lot of anxieties~ If it doesn’t work, you can try again.’
After talking so many things, I made my feelings into a track on the spot as it is, and I wrote the stories I wanted to do with this, and Abyss was completed. I want to say thank you again to Gye Beom-ju.
It’s a bit depressing song that doesn’t fit on your birthday, but I think it’ll be ambiguous unless it’s a birthday, so Abyss was released.
Army, please listen carefully even if you are lacking.
ps. Thank you, our leader, for writing the chorus lyrics.
— 방탄소년단 (@BTS_twt) December 3, 2020