As I Lay Dying frontman Tim Lambesis has opened up about his decision to solicit a hitman to murder his then-wife and his subsequent prison sentence.
Lambesis pleaded guilty to a felony murder solicitation charge in 2014 after attempting to hire a hitman in 2013. He was given a six-year prison sentence, serving two-plus years before being released on parole, which he has since completed.
The singer reflected on his crime and prison term in a new interview with The Garza Podcast, which is hosted by Suicide Silence guitarist Chris Garza.
“My thinking was so isolated in my own mind and disconnected from my support system that I didn’t really even fathom or realize how much I had lost myself and the core of who I really was,” Lambesis said [as transcribed by Blabbermouth]. “It’s, like, I was this one person for most of my life, and then for this period of time, I had this very isolated, different type of mindset, and then have since returned to being much of who I was in the earlier part of my life plus, of course, the added perspective of everything I went through.”
He added: “I don’t really know how to describe it. I lost myself, I lost my way, and I sat there in a cell being, like, ‘How did I become this person?'”
Lambesis went on to say that his time behind bars gave allowed him to reflect on his mistakes and that there were “a thousand better ways” to handle his divorce at the time and the fear of losing his children in the separation.
“I can talk about, vaguely speaking, any father who loses his children, there’s a burning feeling of just, like, ‘I’ll do anything to fix this or to make this right or to maintain this relationship,'” he said. “But just ’cause you feel like you would be willing to do anything to maintain what matters to you the most in the world doesn’t mean you show that those are your best options. And I saw clearly sitting there thinking in a cell, ‘Wow, I could have handled this a thousand different ways,’ and the fact that in my mindset I thought at the time this was the best way to handle the situation, it blew my own mind. It’s, like, how did I even think that? It just was shocking. And there’s really no defense or no way to take away what I did other than that, thankfully, there was actually no true physical harm of any kind.”
Lambesis resurrected As I Lay Dying in 2018 following his prison stint, but three longtime members have since exited the group: bassist Josh Gilbert and drummer Jordan Mancino earlier this year, and guitarist Nick Hipa in 2020.
You can view the recent interview with Tim Lambesis below.